Monday, June 16, 2008

Don't say hello

I don't respond to IMs that begin with a simple "hi" or "hello" or "good morning." Well, I do when those salutations are from the four or five people within my tightest inner circle. This doesn't mean that I don't like or don't want to hear from folks, and there are a number of people I love hearing from... but if you have been in Second Life® a while, and if you interact with a lot of people, you will have accrued a friends list that is so long that you have no idea how many people are there. All the IMs get to be too much, you know?

On the other hand, I appreciate it when people take the time to write me a nice fat IM in which they say hello and they tell me why they are contacting me, giving me all the particulars... all in that same opening IM. That's good stuff.

A notecard is even better!

Nowadays, I like it even more when people send me an email. That way, they aren't interrupting my conversations or my train of thought, but they are still giving me an opportunity to prepare a thoughtful response.

I see this as plain good manners.

If you are new to Second Life, then you probably don't understand this yet, but if you have ever been hit by ten IMs within the span of two minutes, then it is my guess that you will be able to relate to this. For me, managing how I communicate with others has become a matter of utmost importance.

I don't want to "hide" from you. I want my friends to be able to see when I am in world, but I really have gotten to the point where social chatter is not what I do. I know, I know... how antisocial of me! Why would I want a Second Life then?

Ah, that's the subject of another blogpost.

What do you think, and how do you handle this?


Corcosman said...

Everything you've said makes sense.

It's rational to expect that unless you are a close friend, contacting a very busy person by notecard is the way to go. Email is even better if available. It also has advantages for the sender. You can take the time to organize your thoughts and say things the way you intend, check your spelling and grammar, that sort of thing.

I can't imagine anyone is ever impressed by receiving a poorly worded IM from a vague acquaintance or total stranger.

And an IM that only says "hello"? Not so good. If you are IMing someone who is not a close friend, that just makes them get their guard up, maybe open up the Mute window, just in case.

Gee, Bettina, I guess no one but me wanted to waste your time by commenting. :)

Bettina Tizzy said...

Au contraire, Corcosman! I'm very glad to see your comment here. Thank you for it.

I think this is a very serious issue in Second Life. Some days, I really don't feel like logging in because I don't want to deal with all the IMs. This doesn't mean that I don't want to communicate. I just don't want to do it LIVE - this minute - with 10 people simultaneously. If I were to identify the one thing that could make me want to leave Second Life... this is it. In spades.

nectere said...

lol - well I will say HI!!!11!! here then :)

Thanks for the thoughts, got your IM, been off in my own world lately, burn out I guess I dunno - selling my island or at least trying to. Not much going for me in SL so I have been out doing other stuffs elsewhere. It was good to hear from you, take care.

*sidenote - pretty much anyone I want to chat with in SL feels the same way you do Bettina :)

Bettina Tizzy said...

Ah, Nectere... you are on the top of my list for people to connect with in-world. I understand burn-out and the summertime is a good season for it happen... it's so pleasant outdoors! Whenever you feel like plugging back in, let me know. We'll be here waiting for you.