More advice for newbies (but first time it comes from me)

this post by Lem Skall

I often think that joining Second Life is like emigrating to a new country. At least the challenges are very similar. First, you encounter challenges just the way you do when you move to any new place, even when it's within the same country: how to get around, where are the best places to go to, finding new friends. It's much more when moving to another country though. You will usually end up changing even your diet and your hobbies.

The most subtle changes and sometimes the most difficult ones to adapt to in a new country are the cultural ones. It's what is often called culture shock. And I believe that it happens when joining Second Life too. It's not necessarily as negative as it may sound, it may be even exhilarating for some, but it involves a steep learning curve nevertheless.

Joining Second Life is like moving to a new country because it is a social place and it has its own culture. It has its own peculiarities and an etiquette that take time to learn and to understand. There are no common rules, but I'll attempt a personal view on what are some of the most important things to learn as a beginner in Second Life that are part of the culture. They may be obvious to veterans of Second Life and they may be even intuitive to some beginners. But my gut tells me that these have been some of the biggest challenges that have made beginners give up on Second Life.

1) Augmentation vs. immersion affects many aspects of the Second Life culture. It is always an important topic that comes up in many contexts and it has been widely discussed. Gwyneth Llewelyn has given one of the best definitions for the two terms : "[Immersionists are] interested in Second Life as an 'alternate reality', one that is disconnected from 'real life' but bears some resemblance to it. In this alternate reality you would be able to be whomever you wanted to be — and requests for revealing your real life data are considered rude. [...] [Augmentationists] look at Second Life as an extension of real life — a tool, a platform, a communication medium, the 2nd generation World-Wide Web in 3D. For them, anonymity is as silly as faking your voice on a phone call; just because you’re a 'phone number' you’re not a different person." Both augmentation and immersion coexist in Second Life and it is most important to respect both augmentationists and immersionists, no matter which choice one makes for oneself.

2) Instant Messaging (IM) is special. Use it wisely. It is a powerful tool that can be used to communicate with someone who is out of chat range or is even not logged in. It is also a very personal channel when used within chat range. Actually, it is always personal and that's why it should be used with caution especially with strangers. Just because everyone is listed and can be contacted in IM doesn't mean one should do it. And IM is so personal that when a male IMs an unfamiliar female within chat range it can make it a pick-up line almost no matter what he says. So it better be something important or it better be good. Don't be too shy either though and keep in mind that IM is used intensively even if it may not be obvious. For instance, a lot more goes on in IM in a large group as in a club where most of the public chat is bland stuff like "whooo!", "/clap" and "/me thinks he's in love".

3) The friends list is not a trophy collection. Offering friendship to someone in SL normally means "let's keep in touch!". You don't keep in touch with someone you've never been in touch with in the first place, so don't offer friendship to every stranger you run into, not without getting to know each other first at least a little.

4) There is no such thing as privacy in Second Life but there is such a thing as expectation of privacy. There are private conversations and there are private spaces. It is considered rude and annoying when people barge into private conversations or private spaces. Unfortunately for beginners in SL, it takes experience to recognize what is private and what is not. For instance, while a conversation between many people hanging out at an infohub is usually not private, a conversation among a small group of people in a low-traffic place (even if public) is usually private. A mall is obviously a public space, but residential sims are mostly private spaces. One may fly through someone's backyard and one may even enter a home but it is very bad form to stay in someone's private space while they're there without at least striking a polite conversation with them.

5) Anonymity affects social interactions in many subtle ways. This is common now in any social network on the web and it is valid also in Second Life even if the avatars may create false impressions. Anyone you interact with may still be anything in RL, young or old, male or female, no matter what their avatars may look like. There are so many such social clues that affect us in RL and yet in SL it takes longer to figure out people and to figure out what kind of rapport we can develop with them. This shouldn't slow you down though. It is possible to have very interesting communication and relationships with people in SL even without knowing the RL clues. Some would even say that interactions in SL are purer than in RL because they are free of such "preconceptions".

6) There are no social classes in Second Life. Actually there are, first of all, there are the Lindens. Plus, in time, there will always be people you will know of without them ever knowing of you. And most importantly, there is the great SL social divider: experience. There are 3 major social classes in Second Life: those who have been in SL much longer than you, those who have been in SL for a while but not much longer than you, and newbies. Still, that is all perception and there are no equivalents of Brad and Angelina or heads of governments in SL (mind you, there is the equivalent of a Donald Trump). No one is going to get mobbed by a crowd in SL and there are no bouncers or maitre d's who can pick someone before someone else based on their social status. Even SL age is relative because an avatar with a recent rez date can be an alt for a very experienced resident. In the end, no one can be sure of who you are in SL or in RL. All that creates a sense of equality in Second Life and everyone can therefore be approached equally. So there are no social classes in Second Life after all.

7) Exploration is the key. This is true of many aspects of Second Life and it is true also for meeting people, making friends, and finding a social life in general. Move around, go to events, join groups. Use all the tools that are available. Use the Search tool to find events and groups that may interest you. Read the profiles of people you meet, not only you will quickly get to know something about those people, but you will also find new ideas for things to do and groups to join. Go one step further and read the owners and/or the creators of objects and places that you find interesting and then read their profiles. Last but not least, talk to those people if you think there is something interesting about them. Talking to strangers in SL is much more common and accepted than in RL, just don't forget what I said about IM and privacy.

Of course, there is much more. I am intentionally leaving out sex in Second Life, griefers, and voice versus typing because those are complex topics in themselves. Augmentation vs. immersion is such a topic also but I decided that it has to be mentioned because it is so central to the SL culture. Bettina wrote up a list of "What every Second Life newbie should know" with great advice that addresses mostly technical and practical challenges that beginners encounter. This post here is the result of a challenge that Bettina made to me after I commented on her post. I have tried to add to what she wrote with elements outside the domain that she focused on even if we overlap in some places. And yet, our lists are not unique. There are many more like them out there on the web and by now also in printed books (and more elaborate there). There will also certainly be many more in the future. But every personal view counts and hopefully adds something new. I hope that our views achieve that.

What every Second Life newbie should know - 10 secret tips that will boost your experience from the get-go

October, 2009 update: This blogpost is soooo old, and desperately needs to be refreshed with new links, slurls and photographs. I fully intend to do so as soon as I can find the time. While some of the information may not be current, and some of the links that are offered here, broken, the core message remains the same. - Bett

Let's face it, the first few days and even weeks in Second Life are friggin' hard. Whether you are a geek or computer-clueless, take my word for it... you are going to be challenged. Looking back, I can't believe I stuck around. I almost didn't make it.

Is it worth it? Oh yes. Whether you are looking merely to socialize, explore business opportunities, or exercise your mind... whatever your reasons may be, once you "get it," you will realize that it is the ultimate creative tool, and superlative fun.

There is very little about Second Life that truly parallels Real Life. Just as a day in Second Life is only four hours long, so goes the speed, the immediacy with which things take place once you become an active participant. It is also so much easier to expose yourself to new information. Fact is, Second Life is a library, a school, a conversation... on steroids.

Speaking for myself, nearly every sentence I uttered in my first few weeks in the metaverse ended with a question mark. You aren't alone in worrying that you don't have enough time in your Real Life, let alone a Second Life. I also worried that it was unproductive and possibly not the wave of the future that the media kept reporting on. I was quite frustrated with the technical glitches I was experiencing, too.

In my earlier explorations, I sometimes inadvertently found myself in the seedier areas of Second Life, which I hardly ever come across anymore, just as I don't elect to spend time in the back alleys or social wastelands of Los Angeles. You learn where to go and what to avoid as you become more experienced, but a word of advice here: avoid the areas that report the highest traffic numbers. They are nearly always traps.

Second Life is so territorially immense that you could travel continuously, day and night, and never see it all. Yes, it is quite possible to be the only person in a region, but a quick teleport will land you amidst 70 other avatars, all doing whatever it is that you most enjoy... and this at any time of the day or night.

So... if you think you are ready for a taste, but want to skip a lot of the growing pains, take heed. Here are 10 rarely disclosed secrets - actually a lot more - that will greatly enhance your experience, right off the bat:

1) MONEY - Access to Second Life is free... so splurge a little and enter the metaverse with the idea that your experience will be vastly better if you are willing to spend $10 to $15 US dollars (less than the price of a movie ticket plus popcorn and a soda, if you think about it) to get yourself started off on the right foot.

It is fair to say that asking for money upon arrival in Second Life is shameful and akin to begging in Real Life. Realize, too, that your skills - especially in the first few days - make it nearly impossible for you to earn any real money. Later, yes, your chances are much better. Early on, no.

You get a much better exchange rate for your Real Life money at SL Exchange than you do in-world (sorry, Linden Lab and no, I'm not getting a kick-back from SL Exchange).

I'm still on the fence regarding the value of a premium account ($9.95 US dollars a month), though one benefit I really enjoy is the ability to see who is online even when you are offline. Only paying members can access this info on the Second Life website.

2) YOUR PERSONA - Choose your name wisely. Pick a name that is easy to type, easy to spell, and easy to remember. Nearly everyone experiments with who they are in the beginning. Consider the possibility that someday you may actually want to meet one or more people you've encountered in-world, face-to-face, in Real Life. You might fall in love, or develop genuine business relationships, and friendships in the metaverse can be as real and as deep as anything you've experienced before. On the opposite side of that spectrum, but equally important, I would advise you not to reveal much about your Real Life until you've had a chance to get to know the people you are interacting with.

3) TAILORING YOUR AVATAR: Ladies, before you begin customizing your avatar's chest (there's a little slider that goes from flat to humongous... just like that), consider Neil Stephenson's description of the three almost-standard-issue breast sizes on female avatars in his landmark book Snow Crash: improbable, impossible, and ludicrous. Too much can be ridiculous.

If you choose to be a human, you have the option of purchasing ready-to-wear shapes, though keep in mind that you will not be able to alter them later (they are rarely modifiable), and they are often very, and I do mean very (read: unrealistically) tall.

Some of the best known non-human or barely-human avatar creators give away a few basic and cool avatars for free or at very low cost. Flea Bussy's Grendel's Children, and Tooter Claxton always have fun things. You can also pick up free avatars (and scads of off-the-wall and/or practical and interesting things) at Hobo Village (teleport from here), Yadni's Junkyard (teleport from here), and the Gnubie store (teleport from here).

One other thought... less practical, but certainly droll... A friend of mine and his in-world girl friend amuse each other by donning the avatars of attractive celebrities, and yes, it is entirely possible to indulge your inner A-List yearnings and look like Angelina Jolie or Johnny Depp.

There are dozens of good websites and blogs that are devoted to fashion in Second Life, but one of my favorites is a column by Iris Ophelia on New World Notes.

4) PRIVACY: There is no such thing as complete privacy in Second Life. Once you learn how to operate your camera well (see the next tip), you will realize that your camera can look inside a house on the next island over, traversing through walls... with ease.

That said, here are some helpful privacy tips:

Teleport directly from here to Mystical Cookie's shop and pick up a free version of her Mystitool. Mystical just lowered the price on the full version of the Mystitool, and believe me, this is the best purchase your $396 Lindens can buy you. One of its many features is that it gives you the ability to always know who is within 96 meters of you, and how far away they are, and if they are coming closer. Use this tool immediately (you wear it) and never take it off.

Chime Desoto - one of the members of our Not Possible in Real Life group - created a Private Changing Room, and you can pick up a free copy of it, as well as easy instructions for its use, at my treehouse by teleporting directly from here.

5) SEE THINGS BETTER - Learning how to use your camera will turbo-charge your experience. In fact, learn how to do this first. It takes a little practice in the beginning, but later you will maneuver your camera automatically. The best instructions are available via one of our favorite Lindens - Torley - and can be viewed here.

6) RECORD YOUR EXPERIENCES BETTER - One of the pleasures of Second Life is the ease with which you can capture moments and places through photography. In-world snapshots cost $10 Lindens a piece, which doesn't sound like much, but ultimately adds up. After a few months, you'll find that your inventory is beginning to clog up with photos, too. In-world snapshots are good to have if you plan to share them with others immediately, but most of the time it pays off to save them on your hard drive or send them directly to Flickr or Snapzilla. Both of these services are free, although Flickr does offer a very reasonably priced premium account and you can retrieve your photographs for blogging or editing or duplication purposes whenever you like.

It is easy to keep a log of in-world text conversations, which you can later refer to, though it is considered a violation of the Terms of Service to share these records with anyone who didn't participate in them. It is also considered good form to secure permission from the person with whom you are "speaking," and whose conversation you are recording.

7) LEARN THE BASICS FIRST - As soon as you are able, learn at least a little about building and scripting. Even if you don't become a dedicated content creator, some notions of what's involved/elementary knowledge will serve you very well, indeed. Two people whom I'm extremely proud to know, have given generously of their time and land to provide stellar tutorials: Lumiere Noire's Ivory Tower - Library of Prim (teleport directly from here ), is essential when it comes to learning about building, and Jopsy Pendragon's Particle Laboratory, is a first-rate place to learn basic script and particle creation (teleport directly from here).

8) ASK QUESTIONS WHENEVER YOU CAN; FIND A MENTOR OR TWO - Nothing beats first-hand advice. Nothing. Also, never forget that we were all newbies in the beginning.

9) KEEP YOUR INVENTORY ORGANIZED FROM DAY ONE. Oh, oh, oh how I wish I had done this. Don't be like me and start thinking - and acting - this way from the beginning. Here's another gem video by Torley Linden, which will help you tidy up that inventory and keep it lean.

10) PEOPLE AREN'T ALWAYS WHO YOU THINK THEY ARE - Until the advent of Voice in Second Life, a surprisingly high number of men opted to portray themselves as women. Many, many still do. Do not assume that this means that they are transexuals or gay or any such thing. In fact, throw all your assumptions out the window. It's been my experience that most of them are straight. My advice: go shopping with them. It's fun, though they tend to have racier tastes than I do. :P

I'm sure I've missed oodles of good tips, and I won't be surprised - in fact I hope - that seasoned SLers will gently remind me of them. I'd like to learn more things! Seriously though, all comments are most welcome.

I'd like to especially thank Pavig Lok, Orhalla Zander, Arcadia Asylum, Thinkerer Melville, Wellington Bahram, Luna Idler, Corporate Jay, Alec Paragon and dozens of other people who didn't pitch me out with the bath water... and put up with my endless questions during those first few months. Thanks to them, I collapse in bed with a grin on my face every night and bolt out of bed the next morning, eager to see what the new day will bring. For now, I hope it will bring happy and informed newbies.


January 2 update: Ha! Just discovered this video about a "noob" - and clearly for newbies - via Caleb Booker's blog. Created by Akanjee Yongho and Anamkhaï Sodwind, it's a pilot for a series, and is set up for advertising. Pretty clever.

January 3 update: Since posting this piece, I've met over a dozen newbies who have read it! Nearly all asked me for suggestions on what to do in Second Life. Best answer I could think of was to suggest that they bookmark this blog since I make every effort to share our best findings here, complete with slurls (the equivalent of a Landmark), and that they join the Impossible IRL group in-world. It's free and open registration. I send about two or three notices a week with information on the best new builds and builders.

January 4 update: Just discovered what promises to be an excellent blog for men in Second Life. This is a first! Are We Not Men looks like it might have a real future, indeed. Men get short shrift in Second Life, especially when it comes to hair, but I have a feeling they'll give you some important leads on this and more... manly stuff for those teeming with testosterone. ^.^

February 10 update: Interested in art? Get your virtual life off to a bang-up start and make use of Sasun Steinbeck's extraordinary HUD which guides you from one gallery and museum to another (teleport directly from here). Hehe, that's how I got started!

February 26 update: Experiencing Second Life is not a requisite to understanding the wealth of information in the just-published book The Making of Second Life by Wagner James Au, the first embedded journalist and historian in the metaverse. Highly recommended.