"SL is killing me" redux - A new video by Lyric Lundquist

Posted by Bettina Tizzy

If machinima is undergoing a Renaissance, and I believe it is, then Lyric Lundquist would be the one who is leading us into new glory days. In just a matter of weeks she has won my admiration and affection for her intellect and blistering narrative power... painting - with her moving images and rhythms - moments that make us vibrate. It is one thing to make art - which she does - and to excite our sense of wonder (check!), but she hones in on what matters to us and frames it so eloquently, that I feel understood by her. I have never spoken with Lyric, but today she brought tears to my eyes.

It hasn't been a week since I blogged "SL is killing me," but response has been high, both in-world and via comments to this blog. Still, nothing could have prepared me for this.

She writes: "it's not that -i- necessarily feel like i've hit a wall, but some of my closest friends in SL recently have (maybe you know who you are?). so it was more about me acting out what they might be feeling, and how it saddens me when people that i connect with go "awol" because of SL burnout."

Hit the HQ button!


credits::
sim >> poetik velvets [particles in bryn oh's exhibition by colemarie soliel, sim build by hern worsley, steam room by jojoruno runo, flickering box by selavy oh, poetik idea by nur moo and juju dollinger.]
avatars >> lyric lundquist and story takakura
song >> yonderboi - before you snap

7:30pm Update: While I try to read New World Notes every day, I somehow missed Hamlet Au's full blown "Mixed Reality Profile" and interview with Lyric.

"SL is killing me"

Posted by Bettina Tizzy

One of Second Life®’s greatest creators wrote me an IM a few days ago - out of the blue - that read simply “SL is killing me.”

I knew exactly what this person meant. Whatever you do in Second Life, whether you are creating or building community, if you do it with passion and long enough, you are bound to feel consumed by your own creation at some point.

Bloggers will know what I’m talking about. It’s 1am and your blogpost isn’t anywhere near ready and you promised whoever you are writing about that you’ll have it up in time for the opening of their installation or event.

Artists, architects, scripters, builders… often find themselves working against impossible deadlines to have something ready for a show, but the dog needs a walk, the pantry is empty, and your sister’s birthday is tomorrow. Worse yet, the curator hasn’t set the land permissions right, your client keeps crashing, and your Real Life client is expecting that paper in 8 hours.

Is it a midlife crisis? If we abdicate, will we have missed the opportunity of a lifetime?

About a year ago, I shared my feelings of burnout and my inability to satisfy everyone’s expectations with my virtual sister Tayzia Abattoir. My own little success had become a monster that was eating me alive. Tay, who rezzed in 2005 and has seen many friends go and also die, gave me two sage pieces of advice:

* Set yourself to "busy" most of the time (particularly good advice if you lead a very public life).

* Don’t “quit.” Just leave if you have to for a month or two. Second Life will still be here when you come back. Tayzia was right.

A few more thoughts:

* Go to edit > preferences > communication and set your IMs to go to email. Encourage people to communicate with you via email so that you can handle their requests or information at your own pace.

* Give yourself a break and realize that you don’t have to answer every IM as if it is a house on fire. Think of it simply as if someone is adding a file to your in-box.

* State your preferences and limitations everywhere possible: in your profile, your notecards, your profile picks, your blog, and all your social networking sites. Then, if people choose to ignore them, it’s their own damn fault. You can’t please everyone all the time.

* On his blog, ArminasX Saiman wrote about his fatigue and an unexpected resurrection when he shared the story of how a simple animation and his willingness to surrender to it RESET his view on things. Surrender to the fun again.

Speaking for myself, I need to find ways to cut myself more slack and reset my own Second Life. I need to stay focused on the big things and stop letting the many distractions steal my energy and love for what I do. As for my friend who wrote to say that SL was killing them? I shared Tayzia’s advice but added one more thought. “If it really is killing you, it’s not worth it. You deserve better.”

I also have to admit that I need all the advice I can get in this regard. Balance is something I'm not good at. How have you rebuilt the fire of your passion? How do you cope?

Ravenelle and Torley sound out on maintaining balance between both lives

Ravenelle Zugzwang began Second Life® in December 2002 as Ravenelle Feaver, which makes her almost 6 years old, while Torley has been around forever, first as Torley Torgeson and later as a Linden employee.


"The photobooth" taken by Ravenelle

Not long ago, Ravenelle shared a bit of wisdom with me when I complained of being overwhelmed by my Second Life, saying "Keeping a good life balance is a never ending challenge. When I get word that someone is off balance with their life I share my meat story... and thankfully Torley has documented it for me and others here." This really struck a chord and I have taken it to heart. To me, it speaks to priorities and staying true to your ultimate goals.


Morning coffee by Ravenelle

Still, I wondered about their secrets for longevity and how they manage to keep it fun and productive.

Torley, I am under the impression that you keep a healthy balance of interests that are grounded in both real and virtual worlds. How intentional is this, and do you sometimes find yourself leaning more in one direction than the other and having to take steps to rectify things so that the balance is restored?


This scale was created by Madcow Cosmos

Torley Linden: It's absolutely intentional. My Second Life is built upon my first life and they cycle into each other. Rewards in one life inform and better the other. It's a cross-reality ecosystem, I tell ya! In the very beginning of my Second Life, my First Life was frail. I was in this very depressed, sad state, and finding friends and adventuring inworld helped boost my confidence.

It's a dynamic balance, for sure, which changes day by day. But all things said, my "lives system" is blessed with equilibrium.


Torley and Rav keep it playful

What advice do you have for the passionate Second Life user (like myself) who is often challenged by issues of balance?

Torley Linden: Learn to recognize - and only you can tell - the difference between unhealthy obsession and what we call "gladdiction," a glad, or healthy, addiction. Regularly check to make sure parts of your life that need attention to are being paid that tribute. Otherwise, it's like a weed infestation starting at one corner and killing your whole garden. Always look for lessons from First Life you can apply to Second Life, and vice-versa — whether it's artistic ideas, inspirational self-help (of the practical, not the kooky quack kind), and fellowship with other like-minds.

Take breathers, but don't be overly dramatic. Don't say "I'M LEAVING SECOND LIFE!" because of drama that's understandably hurt you when, in fact, your emotions are just a transient phase of maybe a few days, or weeks at most. Follow-up your words with profound actions, for there are many great ideas but few awesome executions (in comparison). GIVE YOURSELF SPACE when you need it, but don't stay there forever — socializing and learning from others is good!

And if it works for you (as it did for us), grow bolder about what you share. Some Resis are quite anonymous and keep their lives separate. Of course, there are contexts when this is appropriate, but we've often observed it has to do with something damaged (e.g., baggage, broken trust ) in First Life that hasn't "leaked through" to Second Life.

To wit, we're advocates for using Second Life as a tool to deal with your bagagge, as opposed to dumping it (and inflicting suffering) on others. Unite yourself.

And always: "CHOP THE SLOP!" It means, hunt down what's NOT contributing to either of your lives and kill it. For instance, say you have a friend who's always harping on about how jealous they are of other content creators, and basically spews bile and venom in your conversations. If you've deeply encouraged them and guided them to help resources to get better — and yet, they still drag on you — then it's time to remove them from your lives.

That gives you more time to spend with people who contribute to, not drain, your well-being.

See also: Celebrating Second Life's power couple