Friday, July 11, 2008

T'was a nice day for a NPIRL wedding...

Gazira Babeli has said that Second Life® is a movie each of us experiences from the moment we log in, and I couldn't agree more. While I have publicly stated that I have a mild aversion to virtual weddings, the betrothal of an old friend and fellow Hobo, and especially one as recklessly cool - and morally questionable - as Akasha Wachmann's got instant ink on my calendar.

So it was that on Wednesday last I attended the outrageous and highly cinematic nuptials of Akasha Wachmann and Skirnir Deadlight, presided over by Ziggy London, a mad hatter with a furiously winking eye and a teapot conveniently pouring a nice cup of tea on his hat.

Many of the guests were in various states of undress or, at the very least, most unusually attired.

In the interest of keeping this blog somewhat PG-13, or hopefully NC-17 , I will replace some words with "xxx."

The bridesmaids and bridegrooms took their places...

Minister Ziggy London began: "Welcome all you lovely-faced folk..."

The bride walked down the aisle to a Gothic rendition of the wedding march, and Ziggy went on: "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury. Boys and girls. Short and Tall. Gay and Straight and variants thereof. Skaters, losers, beakers, flatbags, monkey heads, fat bastard xxxs faces and Nekos. We are gathered here today to witness the conjoining of two souls, or .. something like that. LOVE is a powerful emotion.. blah blah something about partnerships and other such bollocks. When a man loves a woman .. yadda yadda something about meeting each others eyes and some pansy xxxx about kissing."

Click to see large

Ziggy London: Frankly, it is a great relief that a ragbag such as Akasha and a gumflipper such as Skirnir have decided that they are meant for one another. It is through a natural Darwinian process such as this that xxxx like these two are kept occupied, allowing civilised folk like you and I to go about our daily business, unharmed.

To my surprise, when Ziggy asked Akasha if she would "accept your fate," her response was "Nuuuuu!" and she broke away, leaping down the aisle in a trot that would surely get the seal of approval from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Ziggy London: Erm..
Ziggy London: hmm
Kisten Bailey: Um.
Ziggy London: /me looks at his watch.

The groom dashed after her and dragged her back to the altar...

...and Ziggy began anew: "And do you both, sorry examples of squelchy sea urchins, promise to coo over one another, nibble and nip, chunk eachs others thunks, gaggle and flap together, indefinately, indefatigably and to the end of time as we know it?"

When Kash and Skirnir agreed - quite enthusiastically, I might add - Ziggy concluded:

"Never before, in all my years of judging, hosting glorious tea parties and drawing lovely pictures of horses, have I met such a degenerate bunch of quibbling, snivelling, squelchy, hairy snotbags as you two. I hope you are both happy with yourselves..."

The bride and groom kissed and we all adjourned to a large top hat for tea and biscuits.

Sadly, and despite the fact that every detail and the timing for this event were utterly flawless, no one captured it from end-to-end on video. You can catch a bit of it here.

Akasha and Skirnir, may you be ever happy and playful.


Anonymous said...

hahah Bett, Im glad you had as much fun as we did, Im so glad you came! We were laughing the whole time, I wish I could do it all over again xD

**<3 Akasha

Anonymous said...

I'm sort of anti-SL weddings, but holy motherload, I would love that one! ha!

-Thema Felix